So I just found out that to be an astronaut you can’t be under 5’2” and this is BULLSHIT I never wanted to be an astronaut until I found out I couldn’t and now I feel like a dream has been crushed fuck you NASA
i don’t want to live in a world where we can’t launch danny devito into space
Whilst in Sydney in 1994, a man apparently tries to assassinate Prince Charles. And not a single fuck was given by His Royal Highness.
I’m dead at his face in the last one like “Did you even try?”
And then when he gets pushed he’s like “Wait no let him try!”
Prince Charles will never be this cool again.
So as soon as I get home I take my clothes off and lock myself in my room
but today my asshole little brother decided to barge in and he saw my tattoo
(my dad doesn’t know about it) and he threatened to tell my dad
Being the makeup junkie that I am, I ran to my makeup trunk and pulled out 2 concealers, brown eye shadow, bb cream, and powder foundation and went to work
I came out and he was like “That was Sharpie? You’re so lame.”
Joke’s on you motherfucker.